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Bombarded by opportunity... when and why it is OK to say no

15th July 2017 Posted by: Becca Lawes

BECCA Lawes gives us the lowdown on how to handle what life throws at you while you’re at university – and how to say just say no.

Right from the start of your university experience there are a few sentences that you are likely to hear a lot of....'just say yes' or ‘go for it’ or a similar phrase. Everyone has our best interests at heart, they want us to grab life, embrace our opportunities and not miss out on any valuable, fun or positive learning experience. 

This article is for those that want to grab life and live every second but sometimes find themselves stressed, too busy or committed to things they didn't really want.  If you are about to go to university or are part way through your course here are a few tips that I have found necessary on how to manage your time, make the most of the opportunities that you have but not burn out and still succeed

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1. Don’t be tempted to joining every society on offer just because the person at the fresher’s stall is nice and there's a good joining offer...

This may be controversial.... after all being a fresher is all about jumping into random new societies but my suggestion is to pick 3 societies:

  • One you know you will love, a current sport or hobby. 
  • One that you'll try but may not continue, maybe kickboxing, mixology or the Harry Potter club. Don't put pressure on yourself to stick with this one or maybe just go once a month when it suits you.
  • And one that challenges you, in sport, socially or your future career. Focus on the first and last one you have chosen, push yourself to go to every meeting/social in the first few weeks and give it a chance - but don’t put pressure on yourself to keep going if it becomes a drain. Societies should form the best part of your weekly schedule not one of the worst.

2. If, like me, you fall into the trap of saying yes too easily then set yourself a no challenge. 

Once a week (or more) turn down something you have been offered. This could be no to going out because you have a headache (enjoy your alone time and relax) or no to extra responsibilities in your society or no to an extra shift at work. If you always find yourself tied into commitments that aren’t really serving you or are making you too tired then this can be useful. Letting people down can be especially hard since, generally speaking, we are taught to please those around us as much as possible. But sometimes the most important person to please is yourself.

3. Think carefully about what you want from university. 

Is volunteering important for you right now? Or is now the time to completely focus on your studies or work on your social skills? Turn down anything that you think you could do without right now. When you hear about an opportunity note it down to set aside for the following term or year. For example, *note to self, teaching maths skills in a school one morning a week seems interesting, email XXX about this in summer term*. This means you can split your university time effectively and not over fill any term too much and you can also check opportunities alongside your timetables.

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4. Be realistic with people and manage their expectations.

Everyone wants some of your time and often this is more than you can give. When we're young it can be difficult to manage people's expectations but I have found that this is an important skill to learn. When starting a job or voluntary opportunity be clear with what you can offer and stick with it. Give employers, society leaders etc notice and be clear about how much time you have - this means less awkward conversations and they’re less likely to expect too much of you as you continue in your responsibility!

Good luck! Grasp university and everything it has to offer, but embrace saying no, relish staying in watching Netflix and looking after yourself.

 


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